Words of Wisdom
Inside every older lady is a younger lady-wondering what the hell happened
The hardest years in life are the ones between 10 and 70
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows
A male gynaecologist is like a mechanic that never owned a car
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and cry with your girlfriends
My 2nd favourite household chore is ironing, my 1st being hitting my head on the top bunk until I faint
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do and a woman has to do what he can’t
The phrase working mother is redundant
Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be seen as half as good. Fortunately this is not difficult
35 is when you finally get your head together and your body falls apart
I try and take it one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once
If you can’t be a good example then at least be a horrible warning
I’m not going to vacuum until they make one that you can ride on
When women are depressed, they either eat or shop. Men invade another country
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman
In politics, if you want anything said, you ask a man, you want anything done you ask a woman
I am a wonderful housekeeper, every time I leave a man I keep his house
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission
Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you it is his fault
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault
Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses much more;
He who loses faith, loses all.
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.
Learn from the mistakes of others
You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
Friends, you and me……..You brought another friend…
And we started our group….our circle of friends…….
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must – but don’t you quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have one, had he stuck it out
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow
You might succeed with another blow
Once the goal is nearer then
It seems to a faint and faltering man
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down
How close he was to the golden crown
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit
What My Mother Taught Me
A job well done – If you are going to kill each other go outside, I just cleaned
Religion – You better pray that comes out of the carpet
Time Travel – If you don’t smarten up, I’m going to knock you into next week
Logic – Because I said so, That’s why
Foresight – Wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident
Irony – Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry for
Osmosis – Shut your mouth, eat your supper
Contortionism – Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck
Stamina – You’ll sit there until all of that spinach is finished
Weather – It looks like a tornado swept through your room
Hypocrisy – I told you a million times, don’t exaggerate
Circle of Life – I brought you into this world, I can take you out
Behaviour Modification – Stop acting like your father
Envy – There are millions of kids out there that don’t have wonderful parents like you
